On Marriage And Relationships

Name: writer

Monday, May 01, 2006

Why Lovers Hurt Their Beloved Most?

A lover, who claims to love, can never hurt his/her beloved. Love demands that you care utmost for your beloved. You are concerned about their feelings. You make them as comfortable as possible. You keep them as happy as possible. You help them fulfill their dreams. You encourage them during tough times and you are always there for them. If you don't do this, there will be nothing called as love. The definition of love includes the qualities I mentioned.

This does happen. In many relationships it happens all through the life. Such couples need not worry to know about heaven. Their home is heaven. But in some relationships, if a lover wishes to break away for any reason including feelings of being treated unjust, the results will be harrowing.

Let us look at what will happen. As the lover who wishes to break away remembers all the investments she/he did for the love, she will feel that all has gone waste. All my sacrifices are in vain. I did so much for many years, and now what is the result? This frustration and anger is directed towards the partner. At that time the lover who is breaking away forgets that worse will happen to one she /he will be leaving. Only selfish thoughts occupy the mind.

This is the tragedy of such love. The one who is left behind might have made more sacrifices and given a lot more for love. He/she gets bewildered at why this break up is happening? It is like a sudden earthquake. That is why I asked, that if you love someone why hurt? You will find additional resources on this subject here - Destructive Relationships

Relationship Renewal

Relationship renewal day will be celebrated on 4th May. This is the day to renew and bring new freshness in relationships. What does this mean? Why do relationships go dull and bad some times? Can bad relationships be renewed? Let us talk about all these.

Most of the relationships go through phases. In the beginning the relationship is full of care and love. The partners/spouses show extreme love and concern for each other. Till then they have not found out the differences. They crop up after some time. There are few ways the difference crop up. One may be expectations. The other may be- I am being used complex. The third may be- probably we are not right for each other. Let us find out how to bring a new life to the relationship that is suffering because of the problems I mentioned and other problems.

The first step is to stop complaining and begin thanking your partner. No one likes to hear complains every day. They also have their complains. Stop complaining and start saying Thanks for all that your partner does for you. You may say that there is nothing to thank for, but still try and find a reason to say -Thank you. That will bring immediate change and you will notice it.

The next step is to talk with your partners about his/her problems. Become a genuine friend and find out what is troubling them. That will make your partner feel that you are concerned. When you listen to their problems, you may find lot of truth in that. Try to do what ever you can to solve the problems and never let your partner feel lonely.

The third step is to begin saying I Love You in as many ways as possible. Let your partner feel the love again. This expression of love will bring the spark of affection back in your life. Please use these Love Ecards to express your love. Free Cards To Say 'Let Me Love

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

How To Make A Relationship Last?

For a relationship to last, there are few basic requirements. The rapidity with which relationships are breaking in the modern days is a matter of concern and we should try to find out how to make a relationship that lasts for a long time. The major factors that affect the survival of a relationship are as below -

Selection Of Partner - Sometimes, our selection of partner may be wrong. We may have nothing in common and our values and goals may be very different. With bad selection from the beginning, no relationship can survive for long. One of the main reasons of wrong partner selection may be hurry in selection of partner and inattention to the true nature of the selected partner.

Communication - bad communication is another reason for break ups. Partners are unable to tell about true feelings to each other for many reasons including fear of conflict. Sometimes, non-verbal communication is made which fails in sending the message.

Expectations - High expectations in a relationship is another reason. We expect that after we fall in to a relationship, we will become happy, satisfied and feel good at all the times. That does not happen. This creates frustration and leads to blame on the relationship.

Sustaining relationships is difficult. It gives joy, but demand lot of efforts. Relationship is no solution to all our life problems. Sometimes it creates its own problems. For a relationship that lasts, we have to take care of all the aspects of the relationship. To learn more about lengthier relationships please read - Relationship For A Lifetime - How To Achieve?

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Marriage Quiz

To raise questions about your marriage and relationship and try to find answers is a very helpful exercise. It reveals quite a lot about the present state of affairs and gives hint about what corrective action can be taken to make the marriage stronger. One should not take the marriage and the relationship for granted but keep on quizzing about how it is going. Questions such as -
what joy are we getting in our marriage, what faith we have in each other, are we in love, and so on will make anyone think and ponder over the married relationship.

A marriage is like a river. It keeps on flowing through different obstacles. Consider the sea as the goal of marriage - to get joy in a married relationship and have a long and fulfilling marriage. During the journey, a marriage will go through many ups and downs. It is for us to quiz ourselves about our marriage and sort out the issues that hurt us.

We tend to forget that our marriage is made of two people. Our focus is always on how we feel, what we want, what we are getting, how to satisfy ourselves more, our partner's behavior with us and so on. As we focus more about ourselves, our partner gets to feel neglected. It is difficult to say how many of us quiz their partner about how they are feeling with the marriage and raise all the questions in the context of how they are feeling and what they desire.

As we focus not only on ourselves but also on our partner, the marriage will become stronger. Because the partner will get the feeling of getting attention about his/her feelings. Our selfishness should not kill our marriage, because it will always end in a disaster. One fine day when our partner walks out, we are shocked and wonder - what went wrong? We should have taken more care of our partner's feeling, desires and emotions. We never did that. So the result was their walking out. Why should we get surprised? We did that. Therefore it is important to quiz ourselves and our partner about our marriage continuously. That will show us the areas of dissatisfaction. That will make us aware of what has to be set right and what changes need to be brought to make a better marriage.

You can try the marriage and relationship quizzes here. Please try these and other quizzes on marriage to find out more about your married relationship. The more you know, the better informed you get. With more information, you can find out timely solutions to any cracks that may be developing in your marriage. A marriage should make us happy and not miserable.

Marriage Advice

Marriage is a beautiful relationship. Unfortunately, during the current years, more marriages are getting broken than ever. People are not able to co exist together in marriage. What are the possible reasons? Why marriages are breaking faster, why are we not getting what we want from marriage? Are our expectations wrong? Or our choice of partner is faulty? Let us find out.

The major factors that contribute to success in marriage are - Knowing what we desire in the marriage, selecting the right partner for fulfilling those desires, defining marriage goals and getting approval about them from the partner, discussing all the issues that hurt the relationship, changing your own style of relating so that marriage becomes stronger and not giving up so easily if cracks develop and try to save the marriage. A broken marriage is not pleasant for any one and hurts.

A marriage is like a cart on two wheels. Both the partners are the wheels. If one wheel becomes weaker or if the wheels are different in size, the cart stops moving. It is similar with marriage. If one partner over dominates or demands more only for himself/herself, the marriage will suffer. For a marriage to succeed, the partners have to take care of each other's desires, emotions, physical needs and intellectual needs. Both the partners have to support each other to grow and not criticize each other. For example, if a partner knows that his/her spouse is weak in a certain area, it is the duty of the other partner to compensate that and not criticize. Another factor is fear of conflict. Sometimes, the conflicts become so pain giving that partners avoid talking to each other fearing that a conflict may arise. This fear of conflict will kill all communication. Instead what is needed is- healthy communication and peaceful resolution of conflicts in a spirit of give and take. Why should a partner be afraid of talking to other partner in a marriage? That sounds ridiculous, but this is true. This phase spells near death of a marriage. Here is a big resource of articles and advice on marriage and relationships.

Divorce - Are You Heading Towards It? Test Now

Divorce is not like a volcano. One fine day, we find that a volcano has erupted. Divorce happens over a period of time. The relationship breaks down continuously and we realize that life can no longer be lived together. Many couples wake up when the break down has become total. That becomes very difficult to save the marriage. After that they spend endless nights worrying about what to do - To go for divorce or not? Why not to take care of the relationship today and find out how it is and what care it needs. What changes will make it better? And improve it before it reaches the brink?


Ask questions such as - Am I happy in my marriage? Is my partner happy? Am I emotionally satisfied? What about my partner? Raise as many questions about your marriage, yourself and your partner as you can think of. Take some online tests and quizzes on marriage and relationship. That will give lot of thought to your mind. you can read more about break-ups here- Divorce And Break-Ups Advice


As you think of questions, you will start thinking more deeply about where you are heading. Find out all that is going wrong. Try to improve that. Discuss with your partner about what you think. Find out all that is going right. Make it still better. Think, plan and act. Before thinking, test your marriage in all the possible ways. Wake up now. Tomorrow may be too late. test your relationship and make it stronger. Let divorce not become a possibility.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Test Your Relationship

All of our relationships are multi faceted. Whether it is marital relationship or a love relationship, all have dimensions that make them go through ups and downs in our life. A relationship essentially develops between two persons and that is the reason of these changes. If one person is feeling bad for some reason, the relationship will suffer. There are three factors in a relationship - You, the person you are relating with and the type of relationship. Is there any method to test the relationships? Will that help? Let us find out.

There are few websites that offer tests and quizzes. Attempt all the quizzes on relationships and find out your answers. Ask your mate to do the same and find the answers. Compare your answers and try to find questions that were answered differently by both of you. That will tell you something about the areas your relationship may encounter friction.

The tests will serve another purpose. That is to raise questions in your mind. For example if a test question wants to know if you are satisfied with your mate's attention to you and you answer yes, but still think if the answer is correct? The questions asked in a test will give you a lot to think about. Discuss the tests with your mate and find out how your views are same and different. This will give you both a long list of questions to talk about with each other.

This exercise must be carried out in an atmosphere of good will and care for each other. Such an exercise can help you find a lot about your relationship and how your mate looks at you. Normally we don't tell each other that we don't like a certain habit of our mate. But when we answer that question in a quiz, our opinions will become clear to our mate and without any rancor, we manage to send the message. Quizzes and tests give us an opportunity at no cost to strengthen our relationship. Here are few Quizzes on Relationships for you to try.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Relationships And Poor Communication

To communicate means to tell about our feelings, and our thoughts. When we communicate, our words may not say precisely what is in our mind, but when somebody takes our body language and words together, he/she can probably find out what we really want to communicate. Understanding communication and making communication is both an art and a science. But it is not very difficult to learn.

Relationships thrive on good communication. When both the partners know exactly what is in the other's mind, a relationship proceeds smoothly. For example, if a partner is lethargic and keeping quiet, that also communicates something. That has to be understood by the other partner. Once both the partners understand the hidden signs and the precise meaning of what is being said, they can develop a very healthy relationship. People feel good if some body understands them. They get irritated if somebody does not understand them. Irrespective of their own bad communication, they want people to understand them. Here lies the clue to communication and relationships.

Many relationships develop despite of poor communication in the beginning. The excitement of the partnership and the euphoric love make bad communication not very necessary to make the relationship cross the threshold. But after some time, as love thins down and cracks begin developing, the need for good communication increases substantially.

If you are facing a problem of bad communication with your partner, the best thing is to ask. Don’t assume the meaning, but say, darling; I am not getting what you want to communicate. I am sorry, but please explain. Be sincere in your request. You must show that you really want to understand. Slowly the communication will begin improving. Good communication is important to sort out many issues that a couple faces in a relationship.

Please try this fun quiz - What is your communication style? . You will find more such quizzes on funquizcards . You can also read some articles on Relationships on http://www.yourromanceguide.com . Recommended - Conflict Resolution In Romantic Relationships and Relationship - Discords And What You Can Do


Tags -
relationship , communication

Satisfaction In Marriage

There are very few marriages, where both the partners are satisfied fully. Go around and make a small survey. The results may look shocking but they are true. Everyone has one or the other complain about the married life.

The dissatisfaction may be many areas. It might be the home they are living in. It may be that the husband does not help the wife in household chores. The husband may complain that the wife is not helping him in growth of his career. It may have to do with difference of views about spending and saving. You will hear complain after complain and may wonder how people stay together with so many complaints?

The dissatisfaction may be emotional. She is not bothered when I am feeling unhappy and she will reply that even he does not bother. Getting physical satisfaction is now a distant dream. Going to places to enjoy with each other is long past. It is watching television at home and somehow killing time. Some people even dread holidays, because they may have to stay with wife all the day. There will be doubts about each other’s friendships and a bundle of complaints about how I am suffering but no one is simply concerned.

Why the communication lines have broken down so badly? Why are spouses not satisfied with each other? It is difficult to say. But this problem can be solved with little effort. Let them sit together and write all their complaints on a paper. Exchange the papers and discuss about everything. Decide that from now onwards, I will try and satisfy you in all the possible ways. If you still have to say something to me, tell me after a month. Give me a month’s time. Keep the talks on through out the month and determine that we will bring back cheer in our life again. We will bring happiness back and become a model couple. This decision itself will change a lot immediately. Kindly read more about this subject on http://www.yourromanceguide.com
Please see articles - Are You Emotionally Satisfied In Your Marriage? , Stopping Extra-Marital Affairs and Marriage - Enhancing Romantic Love

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marriage

Monday, April 17, 2006

Ingratitude Is Hateful

We as human beings have many qualities, both good and bad. Some of our bad traits are not very harmful, but some are never forgiven. According to Hindu philosophy, God does not forgive ingratitude under any circumstances. God is most compassionate, but the law of karma is applicable equally to all of us. We get what we give. Please see these screensavers about God on www.screene.com , before proceeding further. Please also see this to know more about God's love for us. Let us now return to talk of gratitude.

What is gratitude? Simply saying 'thank you' is at times enough to express our gratitude, whereas at times, we are helped so much by someone that mere words of thanks can never repay the help. This kind of help and sharing has to be remembered by us at all the times and we should make every effort to repay that. Even if we are not able to repay the gratitude in full, our very feeling of being obliged keeps our heart pure and makes our helper feel good.

We cannot measure the value of some acts of help. There is no method to measure. Certain acts may save our life. Certain acts may support us during our worst time. How do we measure them? No amount of money or any work in return can do that. But we can at least be ready and apply all our might to return the help in all possible ways.

A mother brings up her children with great effort. Often keeping herself hungry to feed her child. How do we repay our mother? We can at least try and see that our mother never feels helpless and alone in her old age. She is never short of money and she feels totally satisfied that her children take every care to keep her comfortable.

Similarly, we are many a times, helped in our life by our spouse. We not only feel fully supported but the sacrifice and help also overwhelms us. What if we walk out after all this? What if we leave our spouse alone to fight his/her battle after saving our own life? What if we not only forget what all was done to help us, but also see selfish reasons for that help? This is hateful and never forgiven by God. One should never commit any sin, and one should never even dream of committing the sin of ingratitude. Even hell would not accept us.

We can find more about attitudes and personalities with funquizzes. You will find many quizzes about this subject and allied subjects. please view them here - Funquizzes

Tags -

Ingratitude, Thank , screensavers

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Love - Balance Emotions and Intelligence

Love is euphoric. Love is enchanting. Love is heavenly. Love is captivating. And Love is something no one can describe. Love has to be felt, it cannot be explained. One cannot fall in love by planning; one just falls in love without realizing. That is love. And love also takes intelligence away like nothing can. In love the most intelligent person may act foolishly, because love overwhelms.

What if you fall in romantic love? It is the beginning of your love and you have no thoughts in your mind except those of your darling. You are dreaming of making a home with her/him and living happily ever after. You are planning, discussing and dreaming. You are as much away from the reality of life as much as day is away from night. You get married. Your friends gather. Your family gathers. There is celebration. The couple looks great. They look to be in so much love with each other. You feel like the luckiest person on the earth. And then you announce divorce after a year. Why?

You never allowed your intelligence any role in your decision to marry. You never thought of what marriage means. You never faced the reality of staying together. If she is north, you are south, and if he loves literature, you love outdoors. Both of you knew about the differences, but both of you ignored them. You never gave attention to them. And some one pointed out the differences and asks you to rethink; he/she was out of your list of friends. But the final outcome was shattering. No divorce ever gives peace and fulfillment.

Please fall in love. Please experience the high of love, real passionate love. And please ask your intelligence few questions before deciding to spend life together. Are we suitable for each other? Are our habits similar? Will we give comfort to each other? Are our expectations real and will they get fulfilled? Are we fit to marry each other? Will our love last? Let intelligence play a role along with your love and then decide. You will never have to announce divorce. You will live happily together forever, because you have made a conscious decision after finding out everything. Are you made for each other? Get some fun with these quizzes from www.funquizcards.com - What kind of guy are you looking for? , How similar are you and your partner? , and Do you have a future together?

Tags -

Love, Marriage, quiz